


I know You Don't Love Me, I'm Sorry.

by Shyrianz



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Death, Gen, Mentions Of Schizophrenia, Mentions of self-harm, Schizophrenia, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 10:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1425100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shyrianz/pseuds/Shyrianz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>" I stood on the edge of that building, thinking about what it would feel like. Would it hurt? Would I feel it? Would people even be upset? It was the middle of the night right now. <br/>I heard Frank’s voice in my head, telling me he loves me but my brain can’t seem to understand that it was true. He didn’t love me, it was all a trick. He made me believe that he loved me. He didn’t. Even John told me so himself, and John NEVER lies."</p><p>Gerard has Schizophrenia and it controls his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I know You Don't Love Me, I'm Sorry.

I stood on the edge of that building, thinking about what it would feel like. Would it hurt? Would I feel it? Would people even be upset? It was the middle of the night right now. Nobody knew I was here, nobody would know I was here. People wouldn’t even notice I would be gone. I stare at the ring on my finger, remembering the memories it shared. The day in which I was the happiest boy in the world, marrying my one love. I remember the way his eyes glistened as he said “I Do” the way we smiled before we shared that one kiss. The way he held me . The way we danced in the moonlight. Just the way I loved him. I look at the ground beneath me, seeming further away than it had. I heard Frank’s voice in my head, telling me he loves me but my brain can’t seem to understand that it was true. He didn’t love me, it was all a trick. He made me believe that he loved me. He didn’t. Even John told me so himself, and John NEVER lies. John once told me that Mikey was planning to move in with his long term boyfriend. He was right. John once told me that I was going to get fired. He was right. John once told me Elena had died. Unfortunately, he was right. John told me Frank didn’t love me and ofcourse, I believed him. He wouldn’t lie to me, but then again that’s what I used to think about Frank. I breathe deeply and place my headphones into my ears. Listening to some depressing music used to calm nerves, though this time it made silent tears run down my face. 

One time me and Frank were at the park near my old house. We were holding hand, kissing and just being boyfriends. He smiled at me, then kissed my neck. He was being gentle and careful. I couldn’t have wished for a better boyfriend ever. That day we sat under the slide, him sitting in my lap. He told me he loved me for the first time ever. I believed him, trusted him even. I thought he was telling the truth. But god, I was wrong. How wrong was i? Why did I think he ever loved me? Why would he love someone like me? 

This other time, I had been admitted into a mental institute for over a week just until I gained control over my self harm problem. They asked me question, some of which included John. I never answered truthfully. Anyway… Frank came to pick me up and he smiled as soon as he saw me, I hadn’t been allowed visitors. My heart warmed when I saw him, saw my love. He kissed me passionately and kissed the healing scars on my wrist. It made me feel loved, I always felt loved around him. Until now, at least. Now that I knew it was all a lie. It was all a stupid prank that I fell for. John kept telling me that and I knew to believe him. God. It was stupid to think that we were EVER in love. Now I know. 

I heard someone walk up the stairs. I didn’t turn around. I knew straight away who it was. It was the traitor.   
“Gee bear, please step away from there.” He said, worry in his voice.   
HA! If he thinks acting worried was going to get him anywhere he can go fuck himself. “DON’T! CALL ME GEE BEAR.” I shout through my gritted teeth. My hands were clenched into tight fists.  
“I… I…” He was shocked for words. Good. “I’m sorry, Gerard. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong.”  
“You. Don’t. Know?!” Tears were escaping from my face now, I still wasn’t facing him.   
“No. Please… Talk to me. I want to know.” He says , he was sobbing now. Tough. He can act sad all he wants.  
“I don’t want to talk to you.” I cried out.   
He was crying too. I did feel bad for him, but I knew it was all an act. John was stood beside me, hands behind his back. “Don’t listen to anything he says, Gee. It’s all lies.” John whispers to me. My sobs became harder as I think back to the last 7 years we had shared together.   
I look over my shoulder to see Frank on his knees, sobbing his heart out. Way to keep up the game.  
“I’m sorry Frank. I still love you, even if you don’t feel the same. I’m so sorry.” I say as I turn around to face him. I give one glance a John who nods. I smile at Frank, tears running down my face. And I jump backwards. I saw him reach out for me and he screams my name. Just as I was about to shut my eyes I see John laughing manically. Realisation settles in. He had lied to me. Frank did still love me. It was stupid of me to believe him. He was wrong. It’s too late now. I’m sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm eextremly bored....


End file.
